friendship.

friendship has been a big reoccuring theme throughout this entire journey in korea. whether it's the lack of it or the distance, i've been through a lot of heartache over this. it's kinda weird, heartache because of friendship? my answer is, yes. it's been a very lonely rollercoaster ride these past 10 months and with all my friends being 6,000 miles away i found myself being sad that i'm not with them, or that they're not here with me. i had no one (physically) in the seat next to me.

this past month i've been able to make some friends in my city that i play basketball with. we also hang out outside of the courts so, they've made life somewhat fun again. i've had some of them over a couple times to my place and we just stay up until 5am playing card games, talking, laughing, ordering late night delivery doing what i did back at home and in irvine. for once, i stopped counting down the weeks until i'm back in sunny california. amazing, right? i never ever thought i would get to this place where i am more than content with the way my daily life was playing out. i even found myself thinking "i kinda wish i had another month because 2 months isn't long enough".

now, this is the problem. obviously since i met all of them playing basketball, they're all guys. the one i am closest with has a girlfriend and they've been fighting because i've been hanging out with him too much. it's very against korean culture for people in a relationship to hang out with the opposite sex...even if it's JUST friends. this brings up the age old debate of "can a guy and girl be really good friends without it being anything more than that?" many have said no, but, i've always been a firm believer in, yeah, it is possible. i honestly didn't think it'd be a problem hanging out with him because i see him as just a friend. i never once thought about what this girlfriend might be going through in her head, so after a lot of thinking, i came to the conclusion that i have to lose this closeness with him. this brings me a lot of heartache because i'm gunna go back to the days where each day dragged and i kept looking at a calendar to see how much closer i am to being back home. he was my connection to everything else since he took good care of me. by losing him as a good friend, i lose all other things that has been connected to him. without him, i have no one else. i'm wondering how these next 2 months will play out and if i'll really enjoy my last months here, or if i'tll just be like every other month. i'm ready for some change.

SO, this whole situation has made me very irritated at the fact that society doesn't allow boys and girls to be good friends without any drama or naysayers...and when i say society i mean ANY society. this holds true in american and in korea and probably every other country there is in this world. it's so annoying and i guess it's hard for me to understand since i haven't been in a relationship in a very long time, but still, i can't stand it. why, why, why, why, why? i guess this is just how the world is.

8 weeks.